Breathe into me and make me real...

Kowaiyo...

I am... intimidated by my new toy. How sad is that?

Last weekend, I picked up a small starter set of Winsor & Newton water-mixable oil paints. I've always wanted to do more with painting, but I get so frustrated with the acrylics because they dry too quickly and don't mix well and and andandand. For some things (like cel painting), acrylics are perfection; on more traditional-style attempts to paint, they drive me batty.

So now I have these lovely oils that don't require use of turpentine or other nasty smelly chemicals. And I've just piddled away my second day off, too nervous to try to use them, afraid of failure.

I mean, WTF? It's not like the whole world is going to know and laugh and point at me if my first attempt to use them doesn't turn out perfect. Why should I be scared to try?! Except that it's something new, and I don't always handle change well. ( - and was that a siren, or one of the cats yowling? O,o )

...well, that and lack of space in which to spread out for experimenting might be part of it. **eyes table** Right. Tidy up first, THEN go back to staring at tubes of paint.

the Fayth dreamed at 03:50 p.m. on Thursday, March 17, 2005

**Headdesk**

I cannot believe I have managed to completely lose one of my damn' sketchbooks. Okay, so it's a smallish one, yes. But still, how did it manage to pull a complete and utter vanishing act?! *grumblemuttersnarl*

It might not be so frustrating if it weren't for the fact that the book in question had at least 3 nearly-completed character portraits for my website in it. Rass'n frass'n...

I already have to redo half the pics up there because I can't stand the old ones; I literally cringe when I go back and look at them. Losing three of the newer pieces - when I have *not* been doing much art lately - just. Ticks. Me. Off.

the Fayth dreamed at 12:34 p.m. on Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Why, oh why?

Thank you so much, Wolf's Rain, for ripping my heart out piece by small piece with your last few episodes. >___< **Why** do I watch these things, again?

...ah yes. The Bishounen Factor. And it was wolves, and I adore wolves. Right. And the ending was not as depressing as some other anime I've watched. But still... sigh.

**Looks warily at FullMetal Alchemist** ...you're probably going to hurt me before it's all over too, aren't you? Annoying runt. <3

the Fayth dreamed at 03:07 p.m. on Wednesday, March 9, 2005

"Don't you know / I won't give up until I'm satisfied..."

I am feeling almost mighty. Despite being the *least* techie member of the household, I have (with a little advice from an expert friend) managed to get the defaults changed on the household network AND get the two computers so far connected to agree that yes, they can actually see each other.

Since I have to leave for work soon, arranging which parts of each others' HDDs they're allowed to peruse will have to wait until tonight, or maybe tomorrow. Also on the list for tomorrow: connecting G-Cat's computer to the system. Mwahahahahaha. X D No more "sneakernet" for the House of Mews, nosireebob.

(Who, me? Power trip? Wha...? Noooooooo. ~_^ ) *Then* it's on to Firefox... and BitTorrent. Fansubs, here I come. [grins]

the Fayth dreamed at 04:05 p.m. on Monday, March 7, 2005

Human Foods and the Felines That Eat Them

The other night, we made pork chops and sauerkraut in the slow cooker. One of our cats, Kiri, came into the kitchen as we were making up our own plates and started to beg. Since he was no way getting anywhere near my pork chop, the hairy little thief, I asked him: "What, you want some sauerkraut?" and held a strand of it out to him.

I fully expected him to wrinkle up his furry nose and run. But noooo, *our* cats do something normal? X D He snarfed the 'kraut.
And begged for more.
Several times.

Now, I don't know if it was the salt he liked, or the fact that it had been slow cooked with pork for several hours. Either way, he ate about a quarter to half a teaspoon's worth of sauerkraut before he started to get that "...why am I eating this?!" look on his face.

Which brings the list of strange foods our cats have willingly eaten to:
* Sauerkraut (Kiri)
* Nori (dried seaweed for sushi - Tavi)
* Tomato Soup (Caitlin)
* Cucumber (Neutron)
* Bran muffins (Caitlin)
* Marshmallows (especially Peeps type - Tavi)
* Tortilla chips (Caitlin)
* Popcorn (Kiri and Tavi)
I'm sure I'm forgetting some, too - pretty sure G-Cat has gotten Neutron to eat more than just cucumber. "Well, I guess it's edible if it has mommy-spit on it...." But, yeah. Our cats like some weird stuff. (<333 our mutant kitties.)

the Fayth dreamed at 12:58 p.m. on Friday, February 18, 2005

**Yawn**

Yay, got a little more sleep last night than I have been lately. Which, of course, means I also had more weird dreams than you could shake a stick at. Everything from watching anime cosplayers, to camping at Pennsic war and trying to figure out how to evict unwanted company from the tent. Dreaming that hard sometimes leaves me feeling just as groggy as not-enough-sleep... but at least I know I'm starting to catch up on my deficit. ^^;;

the Fayth dreamed at 12:52 p.m. on Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Insomnia...

Well, okay, "insomnia" probably isn't the right term - but is there one for "not quite enough sleep"? For the last week or so, I've been automatically snapping awake after 6 hours. (Except for the one day when I tried to fake myself out by going to bed later - and woke up after 5 1/2.) It's kind of strange. I went through a period in high school once when I got along for a year or more on six hours a night, but that was a loooonnng time ago, and until very recently it's been either 7 1/2 hours, or else a very cranky Changeling.

I don't think I've been too cranky, though. (Note to self: ask other Mews to double-check me on that.) A little groggy, no doubt. And definitely single-minded, as there's a scene I've been very determined to get written. When I manage to finish it, there are a couple of other sticking points I intend to tackle... although I might take a fluff break in between. All of my fantasy stories - including my first NaNoWriMo - have been stalled and languishing around unfinished for far too long.

Also, after having mentioned staying up late... I have succumbed to the Cartoon Network. More specifically, Adult Swim and Wolf's Rain and FullMetal Alchemist. WR was a pleasant surprise, because not only does the English dub not suck, they got voice actors who sound very close in vocal tone to the original Japanese seiyuu. I haven't seen any of the subbed FMA yet, so can't offer an opinion on that one - but I'm very amused to have met Edward Elric's voice actor. ^^

I think Wolf's Rain will probably claim the next new page up on my website... my fingers have been itching to try to draw the wolfbois. Especially Kiba and Tsume, although Toboe is very cute in his puppy way. (Hmmm, vaguely contemplating cel paintings, with color-pencil renditions of their wolf forms as backgrounds. the trick would be getting the eyes right, especially that intense look of Kiba's.)

the Fayth dreamed at 10:02 a.m. on Tuesday, February 15, 2005

...Damn That Rodent!!!

[IRRATIONAL RANT WARNING]

I don't care if that overgrown rat in Punxsutawny saw his shadow or not, I want spring! So that snow outside? ...can just bloody well stop falling.
Now.

I want solar heat, or a wood-burning stove, or something so that we don't have to give up any hope of ever having savings, just in order to keep the house above 50 degrees in the winter *and* keep the resulting gas bills paid.

I want insurance, health and dental. Being one of the far-too-many uninsured people in this country, I haven't had anything but emergency health care or dental work done for the last ten years. There are things I can't afford to keep ignoring forever, but I also can't afford to have them dealt with. And the process of getting any kind of assistance is bloody humiliating, to someone who was raised with the concept of being self-sufficient drilled into her head.

I want lower stress levels. I want to sleep well, and not have this blasted annoying nervous twitch at the corner of my left eyelid.

I want Shrubya and his lying pet neocon orangutans out. Not just out of the White House, or even out of Washington. I want to be able to evict them from the United States, force them all to go live in countries that their screwed-up foreign policies have affected, so they have to DEAL with the results of what they've done.

I want to outlaw Hummers, Escalades and Expeditions. Regular citizens should not be allowed to drive frikkin' tanks. Sucky gas mileage aside, most folks behind the wheels of these monstrosities turn into swaggering bullies of the road. They scare the living crap out of those of us whose modes of transportation aren't compensating for a spectacular lack of penile endowment.

I want high-speed Internet.

[/IRRATIONAL RANT WARNING]

...*sigh* I want the self-discipline that would allow me to deal with at least three of these issues myself.
I want to write more.
I want to get back to doing art; I want to learn to paint. Well.
I need to stop hiding, and start dealing... but damn, it's so hard to do.

the Fayth dreamed at 11:11 a.m. on Thursday, February 3, 2005

Whee, only the better part of a month into the New Year, and I finally get off my lazy butt and make a new layout. Oh yeah, and an entry. Eh heh. Considering I haven't shown my face here since - what, mid-December? Yeesh.

So. Lived through the holiday season, although my right hand is *still* on and off cranky about things like typing. Part of that is due to video game playing, though... my right thumb is the sorest thing. (Button-mashing, anyone? ^^;;) Which addiction is also why I haven't been online or updating things as often.

But I am still alive, if not always kicking! Art-wise I have been supremely uninspired for the past few weeks; not even a doodle out of the old noodle. Not even while we were gaming, which is sad because I used to sit at gaming nights and crank out multiple sketches of events during the game. **sigh** I so need to get back to that.

On a mostly unrelated aside: even a small hand-sewing project makes me:
A) Offer thanks to the inventor of the sewing machine,
B) Cuss at the blood sacrifice every sewing project, hand or machine, seems to demand of me, and
C) ...well, dang it, I had a "C" while I was working on the silly thing! Durrrrr. (Waaah, I'm not old enough to be having 'senior moments' yet! **wibbles off into the sunset**)

the Fayth dreamed at 12:20 a.m. on Thursday, January 27, 2005

Dream:
Dream

Name: Amy
Alias:
Changeling, AnimeWench, Mi-chan
Age:
Not quite a thousand years, although it feels like it some days. ^^;;
Starsign:
Cancer
Chinese:
Fire Horse

Interests: SF and fantasy, anime and manga, drawing and painting, reading (pro and fan works), RPGs - both console and paper & pencil types - cats, and figments of the imagination... whether my own, or the Fayth's.

Farplane:
Farplane

Laranica
Firehorse Fantasy Arts
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Email: firehorsefantasy (at) gmail (dot) com
[trying to stop evil spam spiders]

AIM: MewsChangeling

Summoner:Summoner

House of Mews (household blog)

Fellow Guardians:Fellow Guardians

N-chan
Twig
Lunar
The Closet (Lunar's ficblog)
Thorne
Catt
House of Mirrors
(Thorne & Catt's ficblog)
Tsaiko
Vel'ithya
Dave
Brandy
Ghilledhu
Lord Avon

<

I won!!!
NaNoWriMo Winner!

My Archives

...Tadaima.

(While I haven't descended into songfic, Tidus has long owned the Evanescence tune "Bring Me To Life" in my mind - for obvious reasons, ne? ^^;; Yes, I know most of the smaller pictures are from 10, not the sequel. But to quote my figment boy: "Like I care!" )
X D

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